Saturday, December 24, 2011
After recently visiting the “happiest place on Earth” and now celebrating “the most wonderful time of the year”, I have been in much thought about what brings true happiness. How can it be the happiest place on Earth when the ones you love the most are nowhere in sight and how can it be the most wonderful time of the year without the warm embraces we had last season? For a while, happiness only led to guilt and then sadness for what has been lost and taken away from my family. I have been so careful to not allow things or people to fill the voids, as I think it is necessary to allow myself to feel the pain of the loss and grieve through it fully. Although, being surrounded by so many loving friends and family, I see how people do help to fill the voids, and where one steps away, God sends another to step in. Our eyes will see what we choose to focus on. We can either become bitter and angry because of the pain or we can embrace the new and unexpected adventures that await us. And although there is an empty seat at our table this season, there is no gifts under the tree for him and my children will not feel their dad’s arms around them Christmas morning, there is no emptiness in our hearts, gifts still abound and my kids have the embrace of a loving Heavenly Father that will never let them go. I figured my greatest gift to Mike this year will be to open myself up to allow myself to be truly happy again and take with me every wonderful thing he inspired me to be. I know deep down that this is what he would have wanted. In reflection of all that has happened this year and all that I have learned, I choose to celebrate this holiday season with joy and still great expectations for a coming new year. And although 2012 may bring its own ups and downs and things may not always go as planned, I know that there is a purpose and a plan beyond anything I can figure out or understand and I know that it will all work together for good. My wish for each of you this year is that you will recognize your true source of happiness. Appreciate your loved ones for all they mean to you and all that they have brought to your life. Embrace them, enjoy them and thank them for all that they are, because without them, happiness would not be real. None are promised tomorrow. I find a lot of comfort in knowing that I made the absolute most of the time I had with Mike while I could. I hope that you will do the same with your loved ones this holiday season and all throughout the year. Be blessed.